The following application letter was written in a response to a job advert from Leo Pharma. The job which I am applying for is a Medical Representative (similar to a sales job).
Dear Sir / Madam
POST of MEDICAL REPRESENTATIVE
I am writing in response to your advertisement on JobsDB.com for the position of Medical Representative.
I am a 3rd year undergraduate from the National University of Singapore with a Degree in Life Sciences, specialising in Biomedical Science. As a result of my specialisation in Biomedical Science, I am familiar with the recent developments in the pharmaceutical drug industry, with a clear understanding of the function of most drugs.
Having worked for half a year at the local office for the L’Oreal Group as a customer service officer, in charge of the Guardian Pharmacy account, I have a holistic view of customer service and supply chain logistics. I believe the experience I gained would allow me to excel as a Medical Representative.
I am dedicated self motivated team player, who is also able to work independently if needed. During my time in National Service, I received training as a team leader for the Work Improvements Team. I believe this training would bring value to the company as I am able to design and implement schemes which would enhance work productivity. I can work under intense pressure, and have always met or exceeded the expectations of my superiors.
Enclosed is my resume for your reference and I look forward to hearing from you soon. Please feel free to contact me, at 97892968 (mobile) or at joshua.kwang87@gmail.com.
Best Regards
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Dear Joshua,
ReplyDeleteI feel that this is a very organised application letter, however I feel that you might want to elaborate a little on the reasons for choosing Leo Pharma.
P.S. I can't link back to my blog from your blog!
Regards,
Kun Lin
Hi Joshua,
ReplyDeleteThe role of a medical representative is to market a product to your customer in a convincing way, and your pharmacological knowledge will certainly give you an edge over other applicants.
You mentioned that you have benefited from your experience as a customer service officer in Guardian Pharmacy in terms of developing a "holistic view of customer service and supply chain logistics". However, I feel that instead of merely stating that such experience would enable you to "excel as a Medical Representative", you could state how this experience can make you a better medical representative in terms of the qualities needed for this particular position. This could potentially create a greater impact because it shows that you understand the qualities needed for this position.
All in all, a good application letter.
Dear Joshua,
ReplyDeleteI really liked your application letter as I found it well structured and concise.
Just a couple of thoughts that may help -
1) 'I can work under intense pressure' does not sound very convincing.
2) I would have liked to see 1 or 2 more lines on your knowledge of the recent developments in the drug industry or any such statement which would have lent more credibility to your qualifications as a student who knows what he is talking about.
And as Wei Ying says - 'All in all, a good application letter.'
Hi Joshua,
ReplyDeleteIn your second paragraph, I felt the point of understanding most drugs is vague. Perhaps this is a case of generalizing. I would suggest if you can focus on a specific group of drugs, like diabetes related drugs. This might make your application letter more creditable and believable.
As for your third paragraph, your sentence is a bit long. I find it slightly confusing to read the long sentence. Thus, to be on the safer side, I would suggest that you use shorter sentences instead.
Other than the above suggestions, the application letter overall was concise sufficiently.
Hi Joshua,
ReplyDeleteThis is a very organized and concise application letter. You started off with academic, followed by corporate experiences and end off with how your personality makes you a suitable candidate
for the job. Well done.
However, I feel that more elaboration can be done. Your application letter shows that you are suitable for the job and have sufficient experience to handle it. But, I would say that it is not impactful enough. I feel that more can be done to show what makes you ‘the one’ they want to hire. You might want to consider linking your experiences to specific qualities of a medical representative.
As for your 3rd paragraph, I think it would be better to write “I am a dedicated self motivated team player” instead of “I am dedicated self motivated team player.” In additional, I would think that a comma behind “independently” would be better? (i.e. … able to work independently, if needed) Also for the last sentence, it should be “… always meet or exceed the expectations…”
And as what all the others, I do agree that it is a very well done application letter.
Hi Joshua!
ReplyDeleteI felt that your application letter was well-organized - each paragraph clearly brought out a message.
However, I think that you can improve your letter by drawing links between your knowledge/ skills and the specific qualities that your job demands for.
Lastly, with reference to the error that Emily brought up ( Also for the last sentence, it should be “… always meet or exceed the expectations…”), I would agree with you that it should be “met or exceeded the expectations”.
(To Emily: Joshua was using the present perfect tense ( have taken, have met, have exceeded) )
Hello Joshua,
ReplyDeleteOverall I think this letter is concise and possibly in line with the job requirements.
However, I still feel that more details could be included. The point of a letter, in my opinion, is to sell ourselves. So at least in my perspective, the letter has not done enough "persuasion".
Another thing I want to highlight will be the capitalizing of certain words. For instance, 'Biomedical Science' need not have capitalized letters. Perhaps the same goes for 'Medical Representative', but I am not sure of the latter.
Lastly, I would say your letter is short and sweet. Most importantly, it remained concise while elaborating on the various work experiences. But as Rohan mentioned, the flaw in the letter could lie in the credibility of your knowledge on drugs. Giving more details about your experiences would substantiate your credibility.
Me three (after Rohan and Wei Ying) to say all in all, a good application letter.
Hope my comments will come in handy!
Regards,
Kian Leong